


Even If Forever Is Just For Now

by Siren_Grey



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bittersweet, Boys In Love, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm weak for the idea of Eiji calling Ash "Aslan", Kissing, M/M, they deserve the world, this is me trying to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siren_Grey/pseuds/Siren_Grey
Summary: They rested their foreheads together, content to live in this moment for as long as it lasted, even if that couldn’t be forever.





	Even If Forever Is Just For Now

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few nights ago and thought I'd post it before episode 24. This isn't the first Banana Fish fanfic I have written but it is the first one I am posting. 
> 
> I can't believe the end is so close. Our boy's deserve the world... Good luck for the last episode banana fam xx

Ash sat on his bed, facing the window, his back to a sleeping Eiji. He had looked so peaceful when Ash came in, like he was away from Ash’s world, maybe he was back in Japan in his dreams. He had stared at Eiji for a few moments before deciding it was creepy and sitting where he was now. It was hard to have his back to the raven-haired boy, Eiji was so beautiful, inside and out, and didn’t even know it. He cared about Ash, wanting nothing in return, and Ash cared for him too…

But he knew shouldn’t feel like this. Eiji deserved someone better than him. Someone less damaged. Someone who would always come home. Friends was all they could be, _they shouldn’t even be friends_ , Eiji was in enough danger just being in his proximity. Besides, if he told Eiji how he felt, if he admitted it out loud, it would be real. 

What they had now was good, it wouldn’t last, but Ash would settle for the longing looks. For the banter across the table at breakfast. For the few times he has allowed Eiji to comfort him, to see him so vulnerable, while he cried, the Japanese boy holding him. 

And of course he still remembers the feeling of Eiji’s soft lips, the only pair of lips he has ever wanted to kiss. If only he could kiss him one second and last time, not to pass on a message, not in prison in front of so many intruding eyes. But because he wants to. Because he loves him. 

“Ash?” A voice brought him from his thoughts, followed by a rustle from the bed beside his own. Ash had just got home not too long ago now, it was still pitch black outside in these early hours of the morning, though the lights of New York City still crept in under the curtains, he was about to get in bed before his thoughts had consumed him. 

“Hey,” Ash turned to the other boy, “go back to sleep,” it was too dark to make out more than Eiji’s form sitting up in bed.

“Are you okay? I… I heard you come in like twenty minutes ago, you have been sitting there for a while,” Eiji said softly, getting out of his own bed and coming to sit next to Ash. 

“Yeah, Eiji,” Ash gave a little laugh, smiling, “I’m okay.”

Faintly, Ash thought he could see Eiji smile at him through the darkness, he’d never found the darkness as comfortable as he did in that moment.

“Okay, good,” Eiji said before resting his head against Ash’s shoulder, “that is all I want, for you to be okay and happy.”

Ash almost cried at those words, words he felt he didn’t deserve, but words that made that urge to kiss Eiji even stronger. Instead he put an arm around the smaller boy, Eiji taking this as an invitation to wrap his arms around the blonde’s waist, it was unexpected but Ash welcomed the warmth. 

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Eiji mumbled, turning his face into Ash’s chest, Ash held him tighter.

He couldn’t voice that he wished the same. He couldn’t promise Eiji forever even though forever is what Eiji promised him. He remained silent. The silence stretched out, comfortable but with an underlying longing. 

“We should sleep,” Eiji said but didn’t move.

“We should,” Ash agreed, looking down at the other boy.

Eiji began to move, slowly pulling them both into Ash’s bed, which, again, was unexpected but welcomed by the American boy. They’d never shared a bed apart from the first time Ash cried in Eiji’s lap, even then they’d just fallen asleep on top of the covers with their clothes on. It wasn’t like this, Eiji in his pyjamas, Ash himself in pyjama pants and a tee shirt, holding each other under the covers. 

Eiji rested his head above Ash’s heart, no doubt feeling how fast the raven-haired boy made it beat compared to the life or death situations Ash dealt with daily, Ash’s arms still holding him close.

“Will you still be holding me when I wake up in the morning?” Eiji asked quite suddenly, but in a quiet voice.

It shocked Ash for a second, how straight-forward Eiji was being, “if you want me to be.”

“Do you want to be?”

“Wh- Eiji-”

“Are you okay with this? Please tell me if you are not-”

“God you’re an angel,” Ash blurted out before he could stop himself.

“What?”

“You care so much, how did I get so lucky?” Ash whispered, like if he said it any louder his luck would turn, as he ran a hand through Eiji’s fluffy hair.

Eiji got up a bit, far enough to look at Ash’s face in the dark room, “I am lucky too, to have met you,” Ash’s hand was still in his hair, now stilled. 

“All I’ve done is put you in danger-”

“I do not care, you are worth it. You deserve the world, Aslan.”

Ash had always hated his real name, the name his mother gave him before she up and left, but hearing it roll of Eiji’s tongue so delicately along with his words… He loved it.

“C-can I kiss you?” Ash asked before he could think better of it, “for real this time.”

Ash heard Eiji’s breath catch quietly, “yes.”

Ash leant up, Eiji leaning forward guided by Ash’s hand on the back of his head, until their lips met in a soft, slow kiss. It said everything they were too scared to say out loud. Both boys started smiling, breaking the kiss. 

They rested their foreheads together, content to live in this moment for as long as it lasted, even if that couldn’t be forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3 
> 
> I'm gonna go and cry now, sayonara fam (sorry)


End file.
